Porcelain Doll

She stood looking up at the night sky for a while, eyes shut, but the loneliness never ceased. Feeling like nothing in the midst of all those stars, in the midst of the air, especially in the midst of all those in the room behind her, she shrank further within. The scared little girl she thought she had long exorcised from  inside reappeared leaving her as baffled and confused as she could ever be. Maybe if I just stood out here all night pretending to enjoy the midnight breeze, no one would disturb me. A sad smile slid on her lips as the familiar insecurity began to envelope her, so she clenched the empty wine glass in her hand harder just to feel something, to feel existence.

Emotions could be so two-faced at times, one moment they're your best friends and the next they back stab you without warning. She fought the battle within fiercely, standing still and silently, no expression on her face, wishing she was back at home in a familiar environment. Anyone looking at her would wonder if she was okay, some concluded that she must be weird. Others looked past her and never saw her while others saw themselves in her and were repulsed.

The breeze blew past her shifting her dress and tousling her braids, she took in a deep breath, breathing in life and its consequences. Mind made up, she loosened her grip on the wine glass and opened her eyes. The night sky was still filled with intimidating stars and so was the room behind her. Biting her lower lip and saying a silent prayer in her head, she fixed a smile on her face- one that she thought was acceptable, it held a bit of the insecurity that could never be written off her face, but it also held a bit of hope that she could survive the night.  Whatever happens, in the end I'll be going home anyway.

She turned around and made her way back into the room, a slight renewal in the light of her eyes. Her smile was both inviting and adorable, attracting people from all corners of the room. Quietly, she fought every battle that sprang up, eliminating the enemy before any damage was done. All the while looking like a porcelain doll.