A Mistake?

I did it.
It was me there at that time
I was the one, that person.
That was me.
And I knew completely
what I was getting into
you didn't have to warn me
I had heard it all before then
and still I did it.

I did it. I confess
hands up, eyes down
head bowed, eyes closed.
God I was a fool.
Willingly I let myself be ruled
and the scary thing is
I would probably do it again
you don't have to scold me
I swear I won't remember
when the time comes.

Innate and unreasonable
that's the habit that curls within
I have tried to be in control
I really have tried I promise.

It's funny too
sometimes I sit back and laugh,
you laugh. We laugh
and then we're serious
and you solemnly look at me
Look in my face, say my name
then wordlessly condemn me.

Like an addict in withdrawal
I realize my foul mistake,
well..until the amnesia returns.


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