I Know Cain

Credit: Superfamous Studios (superfamous.com)

Why are you angry?, Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? (Genesis 4:6 -7a)

Sacrifices and offerings,
they have left burn marks all over my skin.
Little gifts offered to you out of selfishness
I offered them,
eye-service to the God of the universe.

I am in a losing race here.
At the sound of the gun I took off
running in the wrong direction while you looked on.
The crowd cheered me on but you, a lone figure,
you shook your head at me.

(sigh)
Having a form of godliness but denying its power
I strutted around, clothed in self and drowning in it.
Always learning, but never coming to the knowledge of truth
with one and a half eye on the world, secretly hoping you noticed.
I know Cain

I know the struggle,
fighting to please, fighting to do as I please, always fighting.
Till these sacrifices and offerings that leave me scorched
pile up to here and I am frustrated
I know that man!

But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you, but you must rule over it (Genesis 4:7b)

I see you desire humility and I am empty of it,
the spirit being willing but the flesh always weak
I think I understand him.

Yet grace abounds in leaps
and because if it I am not him.
Enough of always trying and never succeeding
You said victory is mine and it belongs to me

sin is crouching at your door...but you must rule over it

Then I must be a queen and these must be my subjects
left to discard as I please, or hold if I wish.
I choose your life and your spirit within me
so direct the flames to these offerings that make no sense,
reduce them to ashes and let them be no more

I know Cain but we are not the same.