What Scares Me

The beginning of this post is kind of a contradiction of the one below..but hey, life right?

I'm standing here
It scares me that you will see right through me
insecurity glaring at you in the face
maybe you can tell that I'm shy
that I really don't want you to judge me
criticize me or tell me that I'm wrong
Even worse, look right through me
see nothing there, just air
because I'm worthless, a nobody
a nothing
That scares me

I'm speaking here
it scares me that my voice wavers
your eyebrows raised at me
eyes clouding with pity
with every word I stumble upon
re-say, re-do. Try again, start again...

Even as I write this, the lion in me rises
It growls in me, roaring like thunder
denying the words written on this page
overcoming all of my shame
like lightning, it strikes me
and bearing down at me challenges,
"WHO ARE YOU"?
The storm is angry at me, waves crashing
and all that I am and can be, rumbles impatiently
with great anger, yearning to be unleashed.
And like a warrior beating his chest in his war cry
my soul is crying out loud for victory
The shofar blows, proud, loud and clear
The lion comes at me again and strikes me down
"WHO ARE YOU" it interrogates

Like a worm caught up in the talons of an eagle
a prey,
I answer, "I know who I am"
there is a whole book written about me, but how do I act who I am?

Show me?

2 comments:

  1. I like this piece, it's has a solemn sadness to it, a subtleness of emotions that's so overwhelming.

    ReplyDelete

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