Random Reminiscing

I remember one day when I was much younger, probably no more than 8, I was very hungry, so my dad took me to Mr Biggs to buy one of those jam donuts (yay!). All I remember is that we ordered, and we must have been waiting for a while because my dad got annoyed and yelled at the clerk, waitress, cashier..? somebody behind the counter. In the end, I got my donut and fell into blissful sugar-eating fantasies.

Looking at that event in retrospect though, I see it in a new light, and it must have made an impression on me because I still remember. I remember now  that before he yelled, he looked down at me, while I clutched to his hand and he must have seen something in my face that moved him to rage at the lucky soul.

So I spoke to him about it, and couldn't help but get all mushy on the inside..and out (I cry a lot). My dad grew up poor, and hardworking. That was the bain of their exsitence, work to eat, fullstop. So when he started earning an income he decided that he will do all that he can to provide for his children. So on that glorious day, I said I was hungry and he was determined to provide for my needs. Now, my dad is a quiet man, this is probably why I still remember the incident. If this was a story about my mom getting mad at a cashier..it would be nothing new, even my dad would slowly walk away with the rest of us when my mum started, so for him to have been the one yelling, that must have taken a lot.

That got me thinking about what it is to be a parent, and how one must be forced to break out of their comfort zone just to go the extra mile for their kids. I was living with a Norwegian woman once and one day she randomly told me 'don't worry, you'll stop being quiet when you start having kids. I used to be quiet too, but once I started having kids, it just left' back then I was like.. ooo-kaay, but I guess it makes sense in a way I don't fully understand yet, but I'm sure I will when I have kids one day.

Truth is, if you're gonna have children, any right-minded person would want the best and only the best for the little people they brought into this world. If you don't care for them and provide in every way (emotionally, physically etc) no one else will. The sad thing is that they'll go out into the world seeking these things that were not provided at home and the world is a nasty place to look for any form of validation. Without God, they will be completely lost. A good parent knows this, and is ready to lay themselves down for that child, no matter what it takes..even if they have to humiliate themselves. The cool thing is that, these are the little forms of sacrifice, done out of love that sticks with the children and gives them confidence.